Do You Think That You’re Nice, but You’re Actually an Asshole?

Here are some ways to adjust that.

Photo by Matthew Kwong on Unsplash

You are not that nice.

Did that produce an uncomfortable feeling?

What if you really aren’t, and in fact, you’re a real asshole? Do you feel self-righteous anger in an argument? Do you stonewall the people you care about when you don’t get your way?

How about doing “nice” things for people but with a price tag attached, expecting something done in return? Do you throw temper tantrums or let your unruly inner child run the show?

We don’t like to think of ourselves as bad people, so for many of us, our life strategy is directed at covering up our flaws, hiding our rage and resentment, and making people think we’re angels.

Unfortunately, that same angelic persona quickly puts us into victimhood and martyrdom, and our “nice” persona disappears when we lash out in anger or suddenly leave a relationship.

“We deserve better!” we tell ourselves, only to date someone new and pine for our ex.

So how can you become less of an asshole?

1. Recognize that you’re an asshole