Hey Mona, while I don't agree with you on several points, I respect your opinion and viewpoint. I'm here not to change your mind but to give you and others a male perspective. I won't claim that I speak for all men but these are my opinions on what's going on here. Take what you like and leave the rest.
What we've been witnessing is two opposing trend lines where more women are going to college than men and steadily filling the workforce. Women spend their younger years partying, getting to know themselves, dating a lot, figuring out what they like/don't like, and having a lot of different experiences with many different men. They focus on building their career during this time and often achieving high ranks in the process.
Biologically, men want women at the age that women spend focusing on their career, partying, and experiencing many different partners. Many qualified relationship-material men (not all), but many, make themselves available for a relationship to those women and desire to build a life and have a family, but that's not what those women want. They want to wait.
By the time women have reached the point in their careers where they feel ready to start a family, when their biological clock has been ticking for some time, they go looking for qualified men. By that time however, life, dating frustrations, maybe some burnout, and time spent wondering why men don't want to commit all play into a growing dissatisfaction.
Many women (not all, but many) become angry at men and default to blaming them for not wanting them at the stage they thought would make them happy and bring them fulfillment. They want to settle down and have a family, but by that time men are less interested and are put off by the single and empowered vibe as well as their older age and underlying resentment.
Just like women have biological heuristics, meaning their innate drives to reproduce with specific types of men (dominant, attractive, high-earners, kind, loyal, 6 ft. tall, etc), men have theirs. Young, attractive, kind, loyal, would make a good mother, etc.
Somehow, I believe that western society has tampered with the biological timetables that are optimal for reproduction and family creation and replaced with it careers, gadgets, smartphones, social media, and dating apps.
As a society, we've moved farther and farther from placing familiy at the center of our lives and replaced it with instant gratification and validation from social media apps, and filled our minds with the idea that the next best thing is around the corner if only we...
Wait.
And after all that waiting, men and women are left scratching their heads, growing angry and frustrated that they can't find "the one" they were promised by Disney as a kid. Instead, we continue the search for the perfect partner via apps while standing in our echo chambers, fueling our anger and blame to the point of all-out war.
Meanwhile, the growing divorce rate has contributed to more people growing up beliving that a family can't or won't stay together, perpetuating the problem. The only way I see this changing is if men and women start working as a team instead of trying to change the other side through blaming and shaming.
It also might help to recognize that in many ways, western culture has sold men and women a bill of goods to fill the workforce, so we can buy the latest thing, have endless amounts of sex with as many people as possible, and send our kids to private school one day.
If we ever have them.
