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What being “needy” really means.
I’ve been needy in my relationships — oh yeah.
“Fix me.” “Complete me.” “LOVE MEEEEE!!!”
Gross.
Face it — you’ve been that guy too.
Well, instead of beating ourselves up about it, let’s dissect it.
The term “needy” is often misunderstood, because who doesn’t have needs in a relationship? Don’t we all crave love, intimacy, and connection? Don’t we all want sex, attention, to be heard, understood, and appreciated for who we are? Don’t we want to feel safe, secure, and comforted?
Yes. But that’s not neediness. See, neediness is born from a place of lack. It’s the dragon in the damp, dusty dungeon in the pit of our stomach. That one that’s been there since childhood. That one that we’ve tried to kill with booze, drugs, anonymous sex, video games, food, porn, and serial relationships.
Unfortunately that stuff doesn’t kill the dragon. It feeds it.
So what is neediness?
Neediness is the over-reliance on one person to meet all of our needs, all of the time, and to an unhealthy degree.
